November 22, 2013

Songs For A Hopeless Apology (I)

I’m a person who tends to fail. A lot. Thus, I find myself in the need for apologizing more often than I should. Friends, family and loved ones have suffered from my poor decision-making skills and lack of empathy. Some may say failing is natural and necessary in life. So I think, despite being aware that it is always far more effective to think twice before acting and preventing other people (and myself) from being harmed. Of course, a firm and deeply felt apology is always better than nothing.

Ok, sometimes it’s just too late for an apology to fix anything. I made some huge mistakes lately; I kept hurting a wonderful person that I cared a lot about, even though it seemed the opposite. I screwed up big time, stepped on a pile of dirt so deeply, that I don’t think I will have any chance to regain her affection, not even her friendship. However, I’ve been obsessed about saying sorry, since I realized setting her apart from my life had been the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

I’ve come out with many ways of apologizing. I could try to write an inspiring story, send a touching letter or flowers to her, or knock on her doorstep and give her a Hollywood-like speech. All that wouldn’t do much I’m afraid. Above all, I wish I could write and play songs, because I’d write the most beautiful sad tune about how much I miss/need her and how ashamed I feel. That’d definitely be the best way to send the proper message; we both share a passion for music (as we share so many tastes and points of view in life). 

Many other skilled people made great songs about regret and apology. Here’s my current top 6. I’m sure there are many better ones, but these mean a lot to me as they accompany my sorrow these days, as I keep missing her (so much it hurts).

Written by Axialbis one year before.

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